Monthly Archives: August 2012

A Second Bad Mother

Years ago I saw the Finnish film, “Mother Of Mine,” about a young boy, a refugee sent to Sweden during World War II and variously pulled back and forth between his biological mother who couldn’t decide whether to raise him … Continue reading

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They Had No Shame…(but gave it all to me)

Recently I had another flashback…I was a young child, in my dark bedroom, where I was naked from the waist down, bent over a chair and being beaten with a shoe.  It’s ridges and textures burned so severely that at … Continue reading

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Poisonous Morality About Work and Working…

In one of her letters to me, my mother stated as an all-around excuse for her behavior, “I’m sorry, but I had to work!”  The alcoholism, incest, neglect, emotional abuse, and violence was thus excused away and even caused by … Continue reading

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A Belief System Designed to Shame and Isolate

My sister once exclaimed to me regarding our parents, “you take so much from people who have so little!”  Why was I accused of “taking?”  Because at 18-19 years old I was, against my own choice, living at home while … Continue reading

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The Accusation Of Inconsistency

I originally wrote this entry several weeks ago, however it spawned a series of flashbacks and I withheld it because something didn’t seem quite right, until today… When my sister asked me who sexually abused me eight years ago, I … Continue reading

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The Shroud of False ‘Protectiveness’

When I was perhaps seven years old, I was sent to see a movie by myself for the first time.  My mother took me aside and told me that I should try to sit at the end of a row … Continue reading

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House of Claustrophobia, House of Anxiety…

As a child, I often had to compete with the television for my parent’s attention, and  generally lost.  From the minute they arrived home from work until they went to bed, the tv was blasting and they sat transfixed, unavailable, … Continue reading

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